The One & Only Jenn Meck. Yo.

I can easily say that my first 3 months of being an adult have sucked majorly. This has been (by far) the worst summer of my life. It had it’s peaks but at the end of the day. The worst as been the worst it has ever been. There has been a lot on my mind. From Family struggles to trying to move and go to school to not being able to see my boyfriend & best friends. But I’m here in columbus, finally, after all the bullshit. I just want to be content. To start school and just dance. That’s it! I just hope things begin to look up. It’s hard to start my own life when I am so worried about what’s happening at home and trying to help out the family. Not to be selfish but it’s not fair to me. I’m trying to figure out where I belong and what my place in this world is. I’m only 22 & I can’t do that if I have to be in two places at once. ya know? Although I must say I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. He has been the biggest emotional & mental support I could ask for. I really wish he was here just to hug and kiss me but since that’s not possible I will take whatever I can get. I had an awesome time in Germany. The sights were beautiful and my time with Steven was absolutely wonderful & i’m really hoping I can go back. Angie and Dale go married. WOW! can you say awesome wedding? It was sooooo beautiful and the time spent with my friends was the best. I’m really going to miss them :(  … I know life will take us in all kinds of directions but i just hope we keep in touch and get to see each other. because without them I would be sooo lost. However, all this marriage talk makes me want a wedding of my own. Not just a wedding but a marriage. You know just sharing anything and everything with someone for the rest of your life. Without judgement with pure love and passion. Yeah there’s fighting and hardships but i’m willing to do that for the happiness and love that come with it. But I’m not afraid to say I found the one I want that with :) 

Well that’s it for now.. Next time I write maybe I’ll be rich and famous. *fingers crossed*

se·cret   (skrt)adj.1. Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed.

We all have secrets. Some more than others. Having secrets isn’t a bad thing. It’s what separates our lives from the rest of the world giving us our personal space. But secrets can create dishonesty. Lies. It can hurt those on the other side of the secret & also those who deserve to know the truth. I have secrets, but I don’t have secrets that involve crucial components to the lives of those who I love. Secrets are no more than that of a LIE. 

lie ²   (l)n.1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.

Graduated. 

Wow.

This man… right here…. makes my heart beat 100 miles a minute. He gives me motivation to wake up every day and has created the whole butterflies-head over heels-i can’t stop thinking about you-every song reminds me of you-always and forever kind of feelings. He seems too good to be true. I honestly can see myself with him for the rest of my life. He’s such a sweet and caring guy. Makes me feel so special and on top of the world. How did i get so lucky to have him all to myself?! Yeah, that man right there is my crazy hunk of a boyfriend, Steve =]

So i stole this idea from bay bay because it seemed fun =]

#1 My Little sister: her giggle, her smile, her presence, her walk, her attitude, everything about this little one makes me soooo amazingly happy. Without her i would be nothing.. and im serious.

#2 Dance: I love to sweat, stretch, move, the way it feels on my body, dance with other people, perform, choreograph, teach, kick my legs, dance till i can’t breath, i just love everything about this art form.

#3 My best friends: not just the ones who i hang out with but the ones who truly know me and know all of me. My flaws and the good stuff. The ones who will always be there no matter what. Yeah they make me really happy.

#4 Food: I couldn’t just pick one because it would fill up all the 10 things that make me happy haha so food in general especially dominos pizza, ben & jerry’s mint chocolate cookie icecream, spaghetti & meatballs, banana pancakes, && sooo much more

#5 Pictures: taking pictures and looking at pictures. I love memories and remembering the fun times!

#6 Men: SOME men that is. The ones who are actually thoughtful and kinda and sweet and who like me for me and not just my ass.

#7 My Family: of course my family has always been there for me and always will be through thick and thin my family and i have traveled. it’s been a rough road but we will always have each other

#8 Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I like to live in my own little world and buffy is the kind of world i like to live in. the though of kicking people’s asses for a living and saving the world sounds like a lot of fun. So watching it just makes my heart smile =]

#9 Nike Shoes: what can i say i like wearing sweet kicks! They make me feel hip and cool. honestly

#10 Ursula and Teena: enough said.

So it is 2010 ALREADY! AAAAAHHHH

Resolutions Include:

1. Diet: not just go on a diet to lose weight, but eat HEALTHIER. Stay in shape. Work on my stamina, muscluarity, and flexibility.

2. Stand up for myself: I normally let people walk all over me, but I’m going to be more open. when things bother me or I have something to say.. damn it.. i’m ganna say it!

3. Work: work as much as I can so I can pay off my loans and have a nice life.

4. Take Risks: don’t be afraid to fail. I tend to always aim to be the best, as long as I am the best i can be and “kick my own ass” that’s all that matters.

5. BE SOMEONE: not just another face in the crowd. make it happen and actually be someone.

6. Have fun: especially for my last semester. I need to have as much fun as I possibly can with my BEST friends. I’m sick of school taking over my life, I just want to have fun.

That’s all for now. We’ll see how well I do. =]

This Christmas isn’t like any other Christmas I have experienced. My family isn’t doing well finacially, so I told my mom not to get me anything. It’s not like I NEED anything. There is no point in spending money on pointless things when we really can’t afford them. So I make sacrifices, but it is wrong of me to be jealous that my mom is spending all of this money on my brother for christmas (even though we REALLY can’t afford it)? It’s not even the fact that he’s getting stuff and I’m not, just that I don’t think we should be spending the money on pointless things. I’m 21 years old. I shouldn’t have to worry about the finacial state of my household. I know they’re my family. (and that’s exactly why I worry about it, even though I shouldn’t have to be) BUT I should be focusing on my future. cause HEY i’m about to graduate here. It’s scary I don’t know what I’m going to do or where I’m going to be in a year. But I make sacrifices and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who is. I know that’s not the case, it just feels that way at times. I just want to be stable. I don’t want to have to keep selling all of my belongings on ebay just to buy gas to come home. && I try to make things better. I try to keep up the Christmas spirit by trying to decorate. Decorating should be a fun, family thing. Not my family, we end up fighting, cause basically no one wants to do it. But I try.

BOTTOM LINE: I just want to have a Merry Christmas. && I hope you do too.

I can’t believe I actually have time to post on tumblr!

We had an emotional rep class with Teena yesterday so it has been making me think (weird i know) about a lot of things which leads me to a post on here. She explained her inspiration for her piece and it’s basically about her frustration with a long distant relationship ( a 7 year one to be exact ) She talked a lot about choices being made in order to better her career and there were a lot of tears. Which got me thinking a lot about what I want out of life. and i have already been thinking about what i’m going to do with my life after Slippery Rock. It’s hard to decide what’s best when you don’t really know what’s best but I guess for me I have decided I need to dance. And it’s going to be hard to have a relationship when dancing isn’t just a stationary job. I want to fall and love, have a house, some cute babies but reality is I probably won’t be able to until further down the road. I do have someone I care tremendously about but he’s there I’m here and I won’t be here for long so what do I do? The answer is.. I dance.

So there is my thoughtful thinking for today… they say sharing is caring so enjoy =]