This Christmas isn’t like any other Christmas I have experienced. My family isn’t doing well finacially, so I told my mom not to get me anything. It’s not like I NEED anything. There is no point in spending money on pointless things when we really can’t afford them. So I make sacrifices, but it is wrong of me to be jealous that my mom is spending all of this money on my brother for christmas (even though we REALLY can’t afford it)? It’s not even the fact that he’s getting stuff and I’m not, just that I don’t think we should be spending the money on pointless things. I’m 21 years old. I shouldn’t have to worry about the finacial state of my household. I know they’re my family. (and that’s exactly why I worry about it, even though I shouldn’t have to be) BUT I should be focusing on my future. cause HEY i’m about to graduate here. It’s scary I don’t know what I’m going to do or where I’m going to be in a year. But I make sacrifices and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who is. I know that’s not the case, it just feels that way at times. I just want to be stable. I don’t want to have to keep selling all of my belongings on ebay just to buy gas to come home. && I try to make things better. I try to keep up the Christmas spirit by trying to decorate. Decorating should be a fun, family thing. Not my family, we end up fighting, cause basically no one wants to do it. But I try.
BOTTOM LINE: I just want to have a Merry Christmas. && I hope you do too.